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Let's be honest — writers are some of the most self-critical, self-deprecating, and self-doubting people on the planet, and I totally understand why. Writing is an intimate and vulnerable creative act, and the process requires a lot of introspection. This is why great writing can be so emotionally powerful and moving, but I think it's also why writers tend to fall into some destructive writer habits that can actually hold them back.

Whether you’re about to take on a writing challenge or are just trying to strengthen your skillset, making sure you’re in the right headspace for writing is key to feeling confident. Today, I want to talk through five of these destructive writer habits and behaviors and how to reframe them so that you don't fall into these traps or hinder your progress as a writer.

Not Letting Others Read Your Story

The first destructive writer habit is not letting others read your story. If you're writing for personal reasons, such as in a journal to document your life, it is fine to keep it private. But if you’re reading this article, you likely want to get your story published eventually.

The act of sharing often turns into a huge mental roadblock that prevents writers from sharing their story with even their friends or family. I've met so many writers who stop at this mark, even after writing an entire novel draft, because they fear that once they share their story, they're going to get torn down.

If you are currently in this part of the process and you're facing some of these issues, the first thing you need to do is recognize that this mindset is actually holding you back from reaching your potential as a writer. When you keep your work to yourself, you won’t be able to achieve your goals, grow as a writer, or improve your craft. Sharing your work is, in many aspects, the only way to progress forward on all of those fronts.

A great way to dip your toes into sharing your work is to start with an open minded and friendly critique group. Not only will you be sharing your work, but others will also be sharing theirs as well, so the feedback will go both ways. You're also going to get used to hearing others’ opinions on your work, both good and bad. This is essential, as you can hear how your story is being received and see if it’s matching up with your intentions.

This could be through a formal workshop arrangement, such as if you take a writing course through a community center or a college, or it could take the form of having a beta reading arrangement, where you exchange manuscripts and give each other feedback. You could also hire a professional editor to work with, especially if you want a professional level of expertise and experience to help you take your novel to the next level.

At the end of the day, remember that your story is not going to be able to make the impact you want it to unless you get over the hurdle of sharing it. You have to be willing to allow people to experience the joy and wonder of your story.

Holding Unrealistic Standards

The next destructive writer habit is holding yourself to unrealistic standards. Many writers get stuck in this mindset of setting unrealistic expectations for their writing or their career. Some examples of this would be expecting every book you write to become a bestseller or expecting to get an offer of representation from a literary agent within a specific time frame.

What can happen here is that if you don't reach these goals, which are groundless to begin with, you can feel disappointed and discouraged — or even that you are a failure. At the worst, it can stop you from writing again.

You need to be gentle and realistic with yourself. It is completely okay if your book (especially your first book) doesn't get a book deal with a major publisher or reach bestseller status. That does not define your worth as an author or the worth of your book at all. There are plenty of successful authors who have built an audience and made a profit from their writing without any of these so-called achievements, so don't feel like you have to reach certain goals in order to be a “real writer.”

Remember: if you write, you are a writer.

Doubting Your Abilities

Because writing is a subjective art, it can be challenging to try to decipher if you are a good or bad writer. I see so many writers worrying about whether they are good enough to continue writing or if they should just give up and come up with a new hobby, but I don't find it productive to think in these terms.

Instead, I encourage you to see writing as a skill that you will continue to grow and develop over the years. By focusing on how you can improve your craft and become an even stronger storyteller, you will find yourself being so much more productive.

Doubting yourself is only going to stifle your creativity and lead to a spiral of negative and unproductive thoughts. Sometimes this feeling that you are a bad writer comes from negative constructive feedback, and I totally understand why it can be hard to bounce back from that. But rather than seeing it as something you are doing wrong, see it as an opportunity for improvement.

Oftentimes, these constructive comments come with positive comments as well, but writers tend to look over compliments on their work because they are so focused on the negative feedback. If a person who read your work gave you a genuine compliment on your writing, take it to heart. Believe it, print it out, and put it up on your desk next to your computer if you have to. That way, you can revisit it and look at it any time that you feel doubt about your work, because just focusing on the negative is not going to get you anywhere.

Being Impatient

Writing is often a lifelong pursuit, something that you’ll continue to turn back to time and time again. Whether you take a break from writing for a while and come back to it, or you continuously write from a young age all the way through adulthood, it is an art that takes a ton of time, energy, and effort. This is especially so if you plan to write a novel and potentially publish it.

It's critical to stay patient with yourself and with the process. Writing a book can take many months or years, and then the process of publishing can take just as long, especially if you pursue the traditional publishing path. That can take multiple years, from the time you are reaching out to literary agents to actually seeing the book published on the shelf.

So being impatient and creating a false sense of urgency where there isn't one can be unproductive, damaging to your confidence, and just lead to more disappointment. Plus, if you rush the process, such as when you are editing your book, you also run the risk of the result not being as strong as it could have been if you had sat down and taken your time with it.

If you are someone who works well with deadlines, then by all means use deadlines to help you achieve your goals. But I do recommend using them as guideposts — if you don't meet those deadlines, do not beat yourself up. Just revise your timeline and keep going. Let this creative process take as much time as it needs to; that is going to give you the best output.

Distancing Yourself

The last destructive writer habit I want to talk about is distancing yourself. Writing is a solo act, which is one of the beauties of it. It's something you do on your own, something you create from the space of your head, which is in and of itself amazing. But we also have this stereotypical image of a writer who's alone in a dark room, all brooding and moody.

Just remember: writing doesn't have to be isolating. In fact, if you totally isolate yourself throughout the entire writing process, you can miss out on opportunities to strengthen your work and improve as a writer. There's a rich community of writers who are eager to share experiences and learn from each other, so I recommend breaking free from this solo writer stereotype and embracing the broader community.

You can join some kind of writing group, whether it's online or in person. You can also take a formal course or workshop, as I mentioned earlier. It could even be as simple as interacting with other writers on Twitter, following your favorite authors, retweeting things, or partaking in conversation via a forum of some kind.

These opportunities for interaction allow you to gauge how other people are talking about writing and may even spur your own creative ideas. Listening to others and also putting yourself out there can spark a lot of new energy for your own project and help you see it in another way.

I hope these tips help you break out of those destructive writer habits and mindsets and allow you to approach your craft with newfound energy and a positive attitude!

Thanks for reading and happy writing!